Buzz Off, Google!

OR

the Terror of Social Networking

A few days ago I read a headline that made my heart jump, if only for a second (I've become quite cynical since Google has become a part of my life):

Google to Make Gmail More Social

For a brief second I thought - hoped against hope - that Gmail was to FINALLY make itself more presentable. Because I am social enough: I know how to communicate, both online and offline, with people I want to socialise with; I still know how to read and write, so I don't need Google to do it for me (as I am sure - mark my words! - that will be their next development).

What I want is to be able to reply to messages without having to drag the (literally) entire history of the conversation in tow; what I want is to make my friends partake in some of the beauties I find online without having to send every blasted picture as an attachment.
I also like nice backgrounds, nice fonts, etc. - you know, superfluous bourgeois aesthetics like that.
(And yes, you can do that with other email clients.
But we are talking about Google and Gmail here - and Gmail is actually one of the most freequently used email applications nowadays.)

As I said, I only entertained such hopes for a fraction of a second - the time it takes my idealistic faith in people and progress to die these days.

As it turned out, the "more social" feature was yet another useless gadget, intended to promote - or rather, cash on - "social networking" (an epidemic condition that is afflicting all too many websites, includes some that I would never have thought capable of stooping that low).

And today, as I logged in, I was greeted by a screen prodding me to "check out" the Buzz.
I didn't and won't.
But here's what it is supposed to achieve:

"Everything in one place Follow your friends and get recommended buzz from others — all within Google Mail."


What does "everything in one place" mean?
Are they actually implying people's social lives (or just life in general) have gotten so small and two-dimensional they can be kept tidy and controlled via a gadget?
(I believe they are implying that.)

And what the heck does "follow" mean, in the first place?
I already know what my friends are up to - as much as they want me to know about their activities. The same goes for their "following" me.

And I get all the "buzz" I need from people I actually care about, both online and offline. Why should I care about the "buzz"(whatever that means) of people I don't even know?

According to a very recent poll, most people are more or less"okay" with Buzz.
Around 17% "love" it.
Around 7% "hate" it.
(The results are changing all the time, so be sure to check the current results.)

If you are one of those who hate it, here's what you can do about it:

Turn off Buzz or remove Buzz updates from your mailbox

(Hint: just look at the very bottom of your Gmail page.)

That should help you to ignore it - which is always the best policy, especially when money (in return for your attention) is involved.


I bet you're left with the feeling that I actually hate Google.
I don't; it doesn't mean enough for me to hate it.

I despise it, and that's not a word I use lightly.
I despise it because it has stooped down to the lowest common denominator - in exchange for money, naturally - and is now even contributing, very actively and quite consciously, to the dumbing down of the world. (See also Google's Goggles ogling at you.)


But of course, the Buzz and Gmail's idiotic attempts to get "more social" are only the top of the iceberg.
More on that in the near future.



P.S. And don't forget to check for occasional edits.
If you know me... you know me. ;)