On mice and me

OR

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR MOUSE IS JUMPY

I bought a new mouse a few months - almost a year - ago.

In this day and age I probably don't have to specify that I am not referring to a pet rodent; I will say, however, that it is NOT a cordless mouse, so if you are looking for advice on cordless mice, this is probably not the best place. You'd better move on. (But do come back for other pieces of trivia in the future. ;))

I am crazy about useful new gadgets, but I don't especially fancy the idea of wireless devices because I don't like the idea of being exposed to (even more!) unseen waves of all kinds without anyone really knowing what they do to us. Besides, when one of those high-tech devices malfunction, one feels even more helpless than usually. At least with wires you have something you can sink your teeth into, to use a particularly eerie metaphor.

My semi-new mouse is of the optical kind (I don't remember the name of the model, and I can't find the leaflet that came with it), with a nice long black tail (the wire) to suit its nice black body, and has been made by Logitech, as I had been told they are "the best". (I didn't have the time or the energy to probe in depth just what that means - they guy who sold it to me seemed a game maniac, and I am not, so I fleetingly wondered whether it would be appropriate for my needs - but I did research it on the internet when I got home, so I was reasonably reassured that it is indeed a good mouse.)

A week or so ago, I noticed the mouse was beginning to act erratically - much like a drunkard: snoozing at all the wrong times, and then suddenly jolting up and leaping across the screen, before starting dragging its feet again.

Logitech, as most other serious factories, do have a customer support service, of course.

But for some obscure reason - probably the same reason that makes me HATE asking for directions (it has nothing to do with personal "dignity", it's more about the fun of cracking the mystery on my own - but more on that some other time) - I tried everything before resorting to it.

So, here is what I did.

First, I made sure there was no "gunk" anywhere. But then, it's an optical mouse, so there is very little space for gunk, anyway.

Second, I checked the wire to see if there was a bad connection somewhere in there. The procedure was low-tech in the extreme: I felt the wire up and down while observing the behaviour of the pointer on the screen.

No, nothing changed.

Third, I unplugged it and then plugged it in again. (I did this a few times.)

No, that was not it.

Fourth, I checked on my Device Manager whether anything was hogging the RAM - even though this would not have been a satisfactory answer because it would open another question: why now? What had changed, considering I hadn't installed anything new? (Besides I have plenty of RAM.)

That train of thought led me to the most unpleasant thought: was there a virus, a trojan, something alien sucking the life blood out of my virtual brain?

So I ran the usual tests: Spybot S & D, PCPitstop, Kaspersky online test... you name it.

Nothing.

As relieved as I was, I was also getting increasingly befuddled.

So I went online and searched for other people discussing this very problem. Alas, they were all smartassing about the things I had already checked: gunk, faulty wires, viruses, trojans, dead batteries... Batteries?

At this point I discovered that logic and Logi-tech are not necessarily compatible, let alone synonymous. You may not believe this, but finding batteries for mice that actually require batteries is not always easy.

So, hoping there would be some other solution, that would not require shopping around (shopping for perfume is fun, shopping for batteries is not - not in my book, anyway) I finally decided to email the customer support service, detailing everything I had done and other particulars of the case.

A few hours later, the answer arrived: try putting a piece of white paper on the pad; or, if the pad is white, try cleaning it.

Huh...?

I decided to postpone my anger at this apparently non-sensical answer just long enough to try their proposed solution. I took a sheet of perfectly white paper (the ordinary, stationery kind) , folded it and placed it on my dusty-violet old pad. Upon which I placed my mouse on the pad and gave it a test spin...

It worked.

It worked!

So, if your mouse is being jumpy, you should still try and check everything of the above.

And in case it needs a new battery, just google for... well, "Logitech battery".

But first - just in case - place a simple piece of white paper on your pad.

(And don't forget to replace it when it gets dirty.)

I don't know if Logitech's mice really are "the best"; and on the forums I browsed through while searching for an answer, I've noticed some people complaining about their customer service.

But I must say, for me both worked very well.

P.S. If you want to give your newly light-fed mouse a fun test ride, here are two places you might enjoy:

Redjellyfish (click here) and Jigzone

OR you can go to the Freepoverty website - just click on the image in the sidebar (where I am bragging about the 1019 cups that I have donated ;)) - and exercise your well-fed mouse work for the benefit of water-thirsty people around the world.

It won't cost you a thing except a few minutes of your time - which will also benefit you because you will learn A LOT about geography!



EDIT (14.XII.2008)

Who knew that, contrary to what the people selling this stuff will tell you, even optical mice can be tickled crazy by fluff?

Well, this mice tamer did:

PAPER TRAIL

(For some obscure reason, just reading the post above scared my mouse - which was apparently hungover today - back into orderly behaviour.
I don't suppose my looking very sternly at it while wagging my finger had anything to do with it...)